Cemetery Gates
by Dark-Side-Of-Dawn
Summary: A songfic focusing on Vader and the love he thought had abandoned him. Inspired by the song "Cemetery Gates" by Pantera. Re-Edited on 12-5


**Cemetery Gates**

Lyrics by Pantera

**_/Reverend, reverend_**

**_Is this some conspiracy_**

**_Crucified for no sins _**

**_An image beneath me/_**

I see her drop to the ground, but my focus is on the man before me. My former Master, traitor, betrayer of everything I thought he stood for. He wants to keep me weak, he wants to separate me from my love, my Padme.

From the day I entered the Temple, they have all been against me. It is apparent to me now, just as their lies have become clear. I did nothing to them, and yet they have feared me since that first day Qui-Gon Jinn stood with me before the Council. Now they have shown their true selves.

Now that my eyes have been opened, I cannot feel regret for what I have done. Once I have eliminated this final threat to my peace, I will save Padme with the new powers I have discovered. I will prevail.

_**/****Lost within my plans for life **_

**_It all seems so unreal_**

**_I'm a man couldn't half feel this world _**

**_Left in my misery/_**

"Padme? Are you here? Are you all right?"

"I'm sorry, Lord Vader. I'm afraid she died. It seems in your anger, you killed her."

"No…..no, it is not ipossible/i!

The torrent of rage exploded, aimed at the shadow that speaks such words of despair. It does not touch him even as everything in the room explodes with my pain, for in my mangled form I cannot touch the Force as I once did. I feel its loss as I feel the loss of my love. My Padme.

**_/The reverend he turned to me_**

**_Without a tear in his eyes_**

**_It's nothing new for him to see_**

_**I didn't ask him why/**_

I am peripherally aware of the joy the shadow feels at my despair as he stands watching in the corner. In a flash of understanding, I am aware of what I have done, and how I have been manipulated by the shadow for all these years. How I allowed him to penetrate my head and twist my ego until I believed that he truly had my best interests at heart.

I am aware that in the end, Padme died for nothing. That I was too focused on myself and my goals to see what she wanted, or to even care.

Now pain is all I have left. Pain and hate and the darkness to which I have given myself…

**_/I will remember_**

**_The love our souls had_**

**_Sworn to make_**

**_Now I watch the falling rain_**

**_All my mind can see_**

**_Now is your (face)/_**

_Anakin, I'm pregnant."_

_The torrent of emotion swept over him; uncertainty, doubt, longing, love. He looked into her misty brown eyes, full of the fear she was feeling. "That..that's wonderful." Seeing that she wasn't convinced, he continued. "This baby is a blessing."_

"_But what are we going to do? When the Queen finds out, I doubt she'll allow me to continue serving in the Senate. And the Jedi.."_

"_Shh," he murmured in her ear, pulling her even closer. "We'll make it alright. Have faith, my love."_

_He would soon be a father! The joy he felt was nearly enough to eclipse his own worry for the future. Now, if he could only end this war, his family would be safe…_

With a start, Vader awoke in the hyperbolic chamber that was his only true refuge. But even in this sanctuary he couldn't escape the one who would pop up in his thoughts and dreams. She who would lie dormant for so long that he'd start believing that maybe he had finally locked her firmly in the closet of his hidden heart, only to appear when he least expected it. When he could least afford the distraction.

Reluctantly, he allowed the mechanical apparatus to lower the helmet that separated him from those around him, ruthlessly shoving the spectral past back where it belonged. Why would she chose now to haunt him? It didn't matter he firmly reminded himself. They should be close now. Once the helmet was reattached, he opened the comm channel to the captain.

"Have you located the ship?"

The officer sketched a nervous bow. "Yes my Lord. The Tantive IV is now in our sights.

"Good. Expect my arrival shortly."

He cut the transmission, and turned to leave. Before he could open the door, her face appeared before him, briefly, but with that disapproving look that had never boded well when she had turned it on the Senate. Why would it bother the Sith Lord so much to have it turned now upon him?

Shoving the memory mercilessly behind the carefully shielded door, he left to attend to the business at hand.

**_/Well I guess You took my youth_**

**_I gave it all away_**

**_Like the birth of a New-found joy_**

**_This love would end in rage/_**

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, we meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the Master."

"Only a Master of evil, Darth."

This was it. I would not fail this time to eradicate my last ties with the life that had been Anakin's. I had been a fool to give the Jedi my life, a fool to waste my youth and power with them. They took away everything that had given me joy and expected me to be content?

I swing and my crimson blade passes through him, and again my joy at the moment has been denied. What happened? There is nothing left of his body, only his cloak remains. My rage is turned to the impetuous youth yelling "No!" and trying to blast at me. As I walk towards him and his escaping group, the doors close on me.

At least I can feel satisfaction when they lead me to their hidden base and I blast them all into oblivion.

**_/And when she died_**

**_I couldn't cry_**

**_The pride within my soul_**

**_You left me incomplete_**

**_All alone as the_**

**_Memories now unfold./_**

_He pulled his wife's slumbering body closer to his, inhaling the spicy fragrance of her hair. "I love you," he murmured into the tangled locks. _

_She responded to him in her sleep by snuggling closer to his solid form, hugging the arm that wrapped around her waist. _

"_I don't know what I would ever do without you," he admitted as much to himself as to her. "I feel so complete with you, as if I could face anything."_

"_Me too," she answered, her voice thick with the sleep that still claimed her. "Love you."_

_The joy her simple words brought him lit his heart. She was his as much as he was hers, and he was determined that nothing would ever change that._

**_/Sometimes when I'm alone_**

**_I wonder aloud_**

**_If you're watching over me_**

_**Some place far abound/**_

The scum managed to succeed. This thought occupies my mind as I fly from the erupting Death Star, the lone survivor. My Master will not be pleased.

The trip back to Coruscant will take a couple days, even with the modified hyperdrive in my ship. I settle back and drop into meditation as the stars streak by.

Instead of the darkness that I bid to wash through me, it is you that joins me on this solitary journey. Have you been watching over me all this time? Is that why thoughts of you only fade instead of disappearing as they should?

I think about you, so kind and accepting, and would feel shame if I could remember how to. It doesn't matter anymore, I remind myself. You are dead and I have chosen my path. It is too late for regrets.

**_/I must reverse my life_**

**_I can't live in the past_**

**_Then set my soul free_**

_**Belong to me at last/**_

"My Lord, we have the name of the Rebel responsible for the destruction of the Death Star."

The young officer stands before me, trying to look as confident as one can while trying not to shake in fear. "What is the name?" I inquire.

"Luke Skywalker, sir. And the ship that knocked you from your path was the Millennium Falcon, piloted by Captain Han Solo."

The officer went to hand me the chip with the information, but the I stand motionless. Giving up, he sits it on the consul next to me and nervously backs away. I pay him no attention.

_Luke Skywalker _I think, stunned. The child survived. My mind works quickly as I ponder how best to use this information. The Emperor must not find out, not until I can convince him to join me. With my son at my side, I would finally have the power to kill the old man and take my rightful place as Sith Master.

I hurry over to the young man who delivered the news. "Have you informed anyone else of this?" I ask at my most menacing.

"N.. no my Lord." He stutters, seeming to shrink before me. "I was about to inform the Emperor…"

"You will do no such thing!" I demand. "I will deal with this myself."

"Y..yes. As.. as you wish, mmmy Lord."

This is my chance to change things. I will no longer have the shackles of my master to hold me back. I will finally be free, a slave to no one.

**_/Through all those_**

**_Complex years_**

**_I thought I was alone_**

**_I didn't care to look around_**

_**And make this world my own/**_

"Father, help me, please!"

I look down on my son as the dark lightning flows over his form. _He deserves it_ I try to tell myself. _He deserves to die for being too fool to see and accept the power he has been offered, just as the Jedi deserved it._

_But if he dies, you will truly be alone._

Your voice rings through my mind, clearer then I've heard since you were alive. _I am alone. I've been alone since you died_.

There is no answer. Only the sound of Luke screaming under Palpatine's torture. And I realize that you've always been there, I was just too stubborn to realize it unless you pushed yourself into my awareness. I was only alone because I allowed myself to be.

I've made my decision. Now I must become who I really am.

**_/And when she died_**

**_I should've cried and spared myself some pain_**

**_You left me incomplete_**

**_All alone as the memories still remain/_**

Luke is trying to carry me, but he is too weak from facing both me and the Emperor, and I am too weak to be of much assistance. Even though I am dying, I know that I am finally free.

We reach the hanger where evidence of the battle raging outside is evident in the rush of activity around us. No one pays us any mind as Luke sets me down next to a shuttle.

"Luke," I say weakly. "Help me to take off this mask."

"But you'll die"

"Nothing can stop that now. For once I'd like to see you with my own eyes."

He looks at the mask, and quickly figures out how to remove it. His compassion as he looks upon my ruined features reminds me so much of you that I cannot help the tears that quietly slip from my ruined eyes.

**_/The way we were_**

**_The chance to save my soul_**

_**And my concern is now in vain/**_

"Now go, my son. Leave me."

"But I've got to save you."

"You already have. You were right about me. Tell your sister, you were right."

It is only now, in my final moments of life that I understand. I had the power to save you then, just as I found it again to save Luke. It didn't come from Palpatine's twisted views, or from Jedi. It came from you, from my mother, from my son, and from my heart. It was love, and I've been too blind until now to see it.

**_/Believe the word/_**

Now, as I slip into the oblivion of the Force, I call to you.

**_/I will unlock my door/_**

I have unlocked the door to you within my heart.

**_/And pass the cemetery gates/_**

Padme, I love you. I'm coming.


End file.
